At the end of August, many of you that read the blog knew I was done. Not just I, but we were done with this whole infertility shitshow.
- I was drained.
- Always on edge.
- Tired of the disappointment.
- Didn’t feel like myself.
As a “Type A” personality, I struggle immensely with things when they don’t go my way. I know what sounds asinine, but this is me:
“…Type A individuals as ambitious, rigidly organized, highly status-conscious, sensitive, impatient, anxious, proactive, and concerned with time management. People with Type A personalities are often high-achieving “workaholics.” They push themselves with deadlines, and hate both delays and ambivalence.” This was taken from Wikipedia.
I’ve been planning Thanksgiving dinner since August. Our Christmas party has been planned since the middle of September. I make meal plan charts for dinner each week. I have seven calendars: the one on my phone, a blotter at work, a “fun” one at work, my outlook calendar, the dry erase calendar at home, my planner (yes, I know I’m probably one of the only people left using one,) and my gmail calendar. You now may have a better glimpse of why when things don’t go as planned for me, I struggle. Take my Type A add in infertility treatments, and we are bound for nuclear type explosions.
We (I,) needed a month off to get “in control.” Really, I needed a period of time to readjust, focus, and be completely removed from the yo-yo of what had become daily life.
This past Thursday marks the start of our first IVF (whattttttttt?!?) cycle. Tonight was the fourth night of my Gonal-F injections, dosage level is at 225. Puffy, tired, but otherwise feeling good. Tomorrow is my first UltraBlood combination. Wonder what kind of damage will be done to my veins this time around; more to come on that.