24 Hour Rewind

Monday morning: UltraBlood combo. Ultrasound tech asks, “so your doctor thinks you’ve ovulated already?” Me: “no.” …defeating silence throughout the rest of the ultrasound…
Monday afternoon: the nurse calls. “You’ve ovulated, so we missed this cycle. You’ll need to come in on 9/12 for a blood test to see if you’re pregnant. We will also schedule a follow up with the doctor to determine next course and next treatment cycle.” *Trust me when I say with 1,000% certainty the test will be a BFN.
Monday night: I am done. This was previously determined on Sunday night, but had been communicated Saturday and Sunday. By done, I mean I am permanently exiting the infertility roller coaster and running out of the park. 
A lot has happened Friday-Sunday, which I do not even have the heart to blog about. Unfortunately, because of those events, they’ve factored in heavily to this decision. 


6 thoughts on “24 Hour Rewind

  1. I never understand the blood test at that point. In our 5th cycle our plan is to only go in for one IF the hpt shows positive. Otherwise it’s a weird form of denial.

    Anyways, big hugs…let us know what life away from the rollercoaster is like… we’re contemplating that as well.


  2. I’m so sorry to hear this. I know all too well the feeling of both immense sadness and grief and certainty when you know you’re done. We were so hopeful our last cycle, and when it turned out to be a disaster, we just knew we had to be done. It is so so hard to close that door completely. But when you know, you know.

    I hope you will eventually blog about the end of the cycle and your feelings. It is so therapeutic. I don’t blog publicly, but find a lot of solace reading and commenting, and I journal privately for myself.

    My thoughts are with you.


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