You’ve read the title and you’re probably thinking that I’ve had too much too drink, or I’ve lost my mind. I can assure you, neither is true. I’ve only had iced tea, and after 31.5 years have only lost pieces of my mind, not the entire thing. Ha!
Lifesavers are these delightful (I LOVE them!) hard fruit flavored little candies, seen here:
From the image, you can see that there are assorted flavors in the roll, and of course, like any female, I throw one away, because “it’s yucky.” Hint: it’s not the grape, orange, cherry, or pineapple. It’s the lime. This whole nightmare the past few months has really proven to me who my Lifesavers are, and spoiler alert, it’s not these candies.
Over the past two years, I have made an amazing friend. She could probably write my life story better than I’d be able to. I can’t say that I’ve ever built such a strong friendship with another female so quickly. We get each other on every level and are very alike. Always supportive, and off the practical advice, she keeps me levelheaded. She also calls me out when I need to be put in check. Our biggest difference is that she has a sunny disposition, and I’m more of an “I hate people” type of person. Much to her credit, she’s rubbed off on me; my resting bitch face now has a somewhat fleeting and friendly look to it. She could quite possibly be the worlds best listener. Not only do I have her in my Lifesaver pack, I have three other gems.
These three I’ve just gotten to know over the course of this past year, but like Suzie Sunshine above, I trust them with my life. Ones exceptionally witty, and her sarcasm puts mine to shame. (Whatever, and HUGE eye roll to you.) In my most troubling moments where I am steins rage must be seeping out of me, she can read me in a split second and will say something like “if you need someone give you an alibi, I’ve got you.” Do you have someone that would lie for you and cover you when you look like you’re going to go on a homicidal spree? I do. She’d probably also offer to drive the getaway car.
So we’ve talked about Suzie Sunshine and Sarcastic Sally. The next Lifesaver is Petite Patty. She reminds me a lot of myself when I was growing up. She’s younger than me (at this point, I feel like all my coworkers are 12,) but this girl has the heart and smarts of an exceptionally mature woman. Her eye rolls can rival mine, and her uplifting demeanor blows my mind. Randomly I get text messages from her, which appropriately come at times when I’ve gone silent, or I just need to “be.” Over lunch we have conversations about the meds, the anxiety, or what I’ve read about IVF. During these times, I can see the genuine bewilderment and concerned nervouness in her eyes, for the shit I’ve already dealt with, and the upcoming shit I will deal with.
Now that you’ve heard about Suzie, Sally, and Patty, I will share my newest friend, Patient Polly. Sometimes, you meet someone and you get along. I’m funny. She’s funny. We can both go from 0 to 100 in 0.00001 seconds. Bullshit isn’t tolerated, and we’re both quick to hold people accountable for their errors. So yeah, we are friends, but it was never really personal. Then I had The Lifesavers over for a girls night, and made some comment (certainly alcohol induced,) about “infertility is awesome! I’m so looking forward to being inseminated,” or whatever it was that I said, and she didn’t flinch. The woman did not skip a SINGLE beat. Most people will make some flippant retort, or make an annoyed face, and some shower you with “I’m sorry,” …if I recall correctly, she asked, “what do you have to do next?” Boom. I swear angels sang. Immediate Lifesaver status. Not having to go back to step one and explain anything was amazing, I instantly felt comfortable sharing this and probably everything else with her.
It comes down to this. When you’re dealing with infertility you don’t need to be surrounded by those that placate you, those that always know how you can get pregnant, or those that are just I considerate. Get RID of those green lime Lifesavers. If they can’t help you or be with you during the worst, and you know infertility is the worst, they do not need or deserve, to be with you for the best. Find your cherries, grapes, pineapples, and oranges- they ARE The Lifesavers.
They will keep you afloat when you feel like the entire world is weighing you down with cement blocks.
They will commiserate with you and agree your doctor is an idiot when they’ve never even met him.
They will be able to tell from your tone that they need to get you out of the building for a minute, so you can have a minute of completely insanity, and not be judged.
They will distract you. Make you laugh. Make you laugh so hard you cry. Make you smile when you didn’t think you’d ever be able to again.
They won’t tell you you’re crazy because you want to have a baby. (Three of them are mothers.)
These women aren’t only my coworkers, they are my Lifesavers. My Lifesavers, are my rock.