The past 24 hours have been a whirlwind. As I’m still reeling from this morning, this will be short, and painful. I’ll probably stay crying again, but whatever.
Let me sum it up, my lead follicle which was measuring at 15 yesterday has disappeared. It is GONE. Like a god damn magician, abracadabra! Poof! Disappeared! My other follicles although measuring at roughly 12, won’t even reach maturation. I’ve already ovulated.
Zero for three.
Frustrating learning lesson of the day, I ovulate before I ever even get to CD15-CD18. I’m somewhere around CD10-CD11, but that’s still unsure and my doctor can’t figure out when I am ovulating, despite the amplified amounts of bloodwork and constant ultrasounds.
Things a doctor should never say, all of which I heard today: “your cycle is bizarre,” which was followed with,”I thought last month was a fluke,” But my absolute favorite, “doing another IUI would be like pissing in the wind.” He also make some comment about FET (frozen embryo transfer,) when he was prattling on about IVF “because then you could have more than 1 child off 1 cycle,” to which I quickly barked back, “we can’t even get one child, but let’s talk about more.”
So that’s that. Shitshow of a weekend. Next step, my bottle of Jack Daniels. Emotional drinking to be accompanied with my brain mulling over my doctors statements, all of his comments, and his original percentage of a 95% chance of us being pregnant by the end of the year.