Although the seasons have become unrealistic and the doctors are plagued by horrific events, Grey’s Anatomy is hands down one of my favorite shows. Ever. Even the episodes that they’ve turned into musicals, although I cringe thinking about them. Knowing that Sara Ramirez, a Tony award winning artist wouldn’t have been singing her heart out unless she thought the episodes were well done, I’ll cut them some slack. So Sara, I’ll give you your kudos, her cover of “The Story,” by Brandi Carlisle still to this day gives me chills. 

Watch here: Sara Ramirez, The Story

When you get bad news, you need that time to process it.  This image below, sums up struggling with infertility and all of those “processing stages.”

Being at work Monday and Tuesday didn’t give me that time. At all. I had to be “on,” because I was at work, and there’s professionalism, which I adhere to. Being at home was easier, but still hard. I didn’t want to talk about it, there were things to be done, and I felt bad complaining to my DH because he went through this too. Today I stayed home. I just needed to be by myself and process. I would say that after last night, I was at the crying part, but needed to accept. So here’s how I processed this Wednesday: I slept late, I stayed in bed and read, I ate leftover Chinese food and watched reruns of Grey’s while curled up on the couch. 

We knew if this round didn’t work, we’d be doing the same thing the second time around. We made a plan of what we’d do, how many times we’d try certain things, etc. This plan is really the only certainty we have, or what we can control. X amount of months with Clomid, HCG, and an IUI. Then we will move to IVF, and again with that, there are X amount of attempts that we will try. 

Today I needed the time to remind myself that this is just the beginning. 

The beginning of round two. 

The second step in the fight. 

Fights can be over in seconds, and some last an eternity. 

Whether you win or lose, you move on. 

You keep going. 

And you keep fighting for the things you want. 

This was where I needed to get myself.

In closing, I will leave you with this quote from Grey’s Anatomy, “We lose those battles as often as we succeed. The key, though, win or lose, is to never fail. And the only way to fail is not to fight. So fight until you can’t fight anymore. Never let go. Never give up. Never run. Never surrender. Fight the good fight, you fight even when it seems inevitable you’re about to go down swinging.” -Amelia Shepherd, Season 11 Episode 14.


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