Excuse me?

Yesterday, I had an ultrasound and my HCG injection was scheduled to be delivered via FedEx between the hours of 9-3pm. What a big day! (Eye roll.)

The ultrasound was pretty uneventful. My follicles are between 11-12 and I have a think uterine lining. Size, not so great lining, very good. It was decided that I would be going back on Friday for another ultrasound. And at the incredibly low cost of $175.00 per ultrasound, why not have one every other day? (I track the money spent in designer bag costs…so right now, I’d have a closet full of new Kate Spade {current obsession,} bags. My follicles need to be measuring upwards of 17, ideally around 20. By Friday they will have had two days to grow, I mean we only need them to grow a little bit more, otherwise, we don’t move forward with the HCG (which has already been paid for and was being delivered,) or the IUI. So…..grow follicles, grow, grow, grow!!!

I also learned that my doctors wife is the office manager, remember her? No? She’s the one I had the delightful pleasure of speaking with twice the other day. My response when that information was shared a very quizzical, “ohhhh?” Yes, it came out as more of a question.

Fast forward to the end of the day. Imagine my surprise when I got home at 4:23, and there was no package here for me. I digress, not a surprise…not even at all. Why would anything surprise me at this point in time, it isn’t as though this has been smooth sailing. So…on the phone with FedEx, and a waste of 30 minutes of my life I’ll never get back. Apparently, asking to speak with an actual human being, was as challenging as it was putting a man on the moon. Here are some fun facts that I learned about FedEx and their exceptional overnight delivery services…

  1. Their drivers don’t have company issued phones. (Make SO much sense considering they are on the roads driving, don’t you think?)
  2. They have now way of tracking where a package actually is when it’s out on the road.
  3. All of their packages are processed through a location in Memphis, although the packages are not actually in Memphis. (Logistically doesn’t this make SO much sense?)
  4. If there is a delay in delivery of the package or, it won’t be delivered that day, they will not notify you. That is not their practice.
  5. When you call and unsuccessfully can’t get the information needed from a representative, you aren’t able speak to their manager for assistance. You get out through to their “advocate representative.” … whattttttt?
  6. If there is a delay in the Memphis location, let’s say “server issues,” that delays the deliveries. Again, please remember that the packages aren’t actually in Memphis. (Yes, that was a reason I was given.)
  7. There was inclement weather in MA yesterday that delayed the delivery. (As I told the lovely woman I spoke with, “no, there are no weather issues. I live in MA and work in MA…it’s breezy and sunny out, that is NOT what you call inclement weather.”

I mean really the list of idiocy could go on and on. What it came down to are the following facts…

  • FedEx had already been to my building twice.
  • The package had to be signed for…because it is medicine.
  • It needed to stay refrigerated.
  • They were given instructions to deliver it to the office where I live, as I was going to be at work.
  • I had given my consent to have someone in the office sign for the package.
  • The office closes at 5pm and there was no other way to get the package to me. (Secure building.)
  • I “advocated ” for myself and went ballistic on the phone.

I sat outside on the curb waiting for the delivery truck to show up. It did, at 5:46pm. I practically jumped the guy when he got off the truck, and he had the balls to ask me for an ID. (The package is for me, person “ABC,” the ladies that work in the office aren’t me. Was he going to ask them for ID, and expect it to read “ABC?” Shoot me! There’s no rationale whatsoever. Wait, I’ll be shooting myself up in a day or two…so no need for a shooting yet!) Anyway, it was a good thing I parked my highly hormonal butt on the curb. The other individual who had something getting delivered had the “we’re sorry we missed you sticker” slapped on the locked office door!

I keep getting told by everyone (doctors office, FedEx employees, and others) to relax. How am I supposed to relax when these nincompoops are the ones making me want to pull out my hair?!? My next post will be why not to tell people under going fertility treatments to relax.




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